Happy Birthday, My Catie

She's 3-years-old today. THREE.  My god, I can't believe she's 3 already.  The years have gone by so fast...too fast. 

I wouldn't use the word "favorite" exactly, because that's not fair to my other kids, or even true.  But she has been such a joy to me since the day she was born.  Maybe because she was the baby, and I knew she was my last, maybe I was wise enough to treasure her for the unexpected gift that she was.  That she is. 

It's so amazing to watch her grow.  Right now her little 3-year-old self is just a glimpse of some unique person I can only imagine.  And although I can't wait to see who that person will eventually be, I wish I could slow these years down just a little.

5 Years In

When Craig and I married, we just jumped in.  We knew we were creating a blended family, and that it would be great at times and challenging at times.  We knew that living with each other's quirks would be both pleasant and crazy, life-sucking reality.  But, I love him.  For some reason, he loves me.  So we jumped in.

Most times, I think he's the only one who really gets me.  Other times...I think the poor guy hasn't got a clue who I am inside.   Still...he's the only one I really let see who that person is, whether he understands her or not.  It took me a decade to grow into a woman who could be that vulnerable, but he never lets me down.  I trust him with those pieces of me.

Five years later, here we are.  Five years of teenagers, babies, laundry, bills, carpooling, and a few hundred spaghetti dinners...here we STILL are.  And it's great :)

Happy Anniversary, Craig!

I Knew This Day Would Come

It's finally happened.  Craig and I realized it today when we overheard the girls talking to each other.  I'm not sure when it began, but Jaden's been calling her sister "Caitlyn."  A lot.  I also realized that, more often than not,  Catie calls herself "Cait-yin."  

Really, if you know me at all you won't be surprised to read that this makes me sad.  It kind of breaks my heart.  Jaden, and then the rest of us, have been calling her Honey for so long.  Ever since she was a baby she's been our Honey.

I didn't realize until now how much this has really stuck with me...how much it's been a part of my interactions with my kids.  And I didn't realize how it would feel to let that go.  It's so hard to let go of all those little things that keep them babies, even when you know you must.

In one of their favorite books, Bear Snores On, the animal friends talk about making "honey-cakes" and "honey-nuts" for their little woodsy picnics.  Caitlyn still  eagerly anticipates these parts of the story, interjecting an incredulous "ME??" each time there is ever mention of "honey" anything.

She still listens to the Mama Mia soundtrack over and over just to sing along to her song "Honey, Honey," although that's also being phased out by her new favorite Disney princess songs.

And just last night I accidentally said, "Jaden, honey, what's wrong?" You should have seen Catie glare at me as Jaden exclaimed, "I'm NOT Honey, I'm Jaden." 

So I don't think that Caitlyn has completely given up her baby nickname yet.   But it's closer than I realized.  Soon this era will end.  Soon I'll have to let this go.

Still... even if I don't ever say it out loud, I'll be thinking it.  She will always be my Honey.

A Roomful of Parents

It's that time again.  Parent-teacher conferences. 

Here they come walking through my doorway, a couple dozen moms and dads...nervous about this new type of conference in which we all meet together as a team.   Such hopeful expressions, such vulnerability.    It's time to face the teacher, and I can tell that although they don't quite know what to expect,  they want so much to do the right thing for their kids.  It's hard to be a parent during conference week.

I put them at ease.  I tell them how wonderful their children are, and how lucky I feel to have them this year.  I smile a lot, and my smiles are genuine.

I love talking to families about their kids, especially when we come together during conferences.   Because at this moment, in this place, every child  I teach is the most important person to their parents.  The most special...loved beyond reason or explanation.  No matter what non-sugar coated information I might need to relate about these kids, I never ever forget that each one of them is some mother's little Catie.

As I walk around and talk, I  feel the weight of my responsibility to these families.  They look to me for answers.  They trust me.  They are putting an entire year of their child's education in my hands and whenever I really stop to think about that...well, it's huge and sometimes it leaves me breathless.

But I wouldn't have it any other way.   I have the best job in the world. 

where have all the endmarks gone

sometimes i wonder if there will come a day when we just dont use punctuation or capitalization anymore kind of a fallout from this new generation of texters they dont even seem to know how to use it and you wonder if they use that as a cover up because they dont know where a sentence ends i think maybe its just laziness regardless i think a well placed comma can make or break a piece of writing to say nothing of a few periods but maybe thats just me