Uniform Shoe on the Other Foot

Tomorrow is the first day of school, and as usual I'm wrapped up in knots.  I always get a little anxious the night before the first day, even after all these years. 

Last year I was on edge thinking about my grade level switch to first grade.  I wasn't sure what to expect, so I planned that first morning precisely.  When the morning bell sounded, I opened the door to all those smiling faces and welcomed them in. 

I was not, however, very welcoming to their parents.  I was friendly, and I greeted them warmly, and then I promptly had their children wave good-bye and I closed the door in their worried, hesitating faces.  Truly, I thought I was doing them a favor.  Plus, I had all those little squirts to deal with, and that was my job.  Not coddling moms.

Well, shoe's on the other foot now, isn't it?  I sit here tonight anxiously, not because I'm facing school tomorrow.  That's cake.  I sit here unable to sleep because tomorrow is Jaden's first day of Kindergarten.  She's ready.  I know she is.  She'll be great.

Except I'm kind of nervous about her getting on the daycare van okay.  Even with help, she's never made her way from point A to point B without Craig or I to hold her hand. 

Also, she still needs help sometimes in the bathroom.  What if she gets in there and can't get her uniform skirt back on right?  Are the little 5 year old boys going to see her Hello Kitty panties and laugh at her? 

And what about getting through the cafeteria lunch line?  She's never had to balance a tray of anything in her hands, much less loose food!  Hell, the girl can barely walk across the room without tripping over her two left feet. 

And speaking of lunchtime, I have to give her a dollar for lunch tomorrow, and where exactly am I supposed to put that?  Is she going to remember what it's for?  Her experience with money is limited to Chuck E. Cheese tokens and random quarters she finds in the laundry room.   Has she ever even seen a dollar bill?  I forget, and I can't exactly wake her up and ask her now.

Her kindergarten teacher is a friend of ours,  I trust her very much, and truly I don't feel compelled in the slightest to bug Ms. Jeffrey with my mommy worries and eek out some reassurance.  

Yet, as I consider tomorrow morning, I realize that I kind of wish I could peek in the classroom door at 8:00, and watch Jaden's face as she finds her seat.  I'd like to be able to smile reassuringly to her, and make sure she feels secure before backing out of the doorway.  I'd like to take a picture of her in her seat on her first day of school.  I'd like to be the mom for a few minutes before going back to being the teacher.

Oh, my gosh.  Did I get it wrong last year?  Should I have been more welcoming to parents, and let them hover for a few minutes?  Just in case...I'm changing my game plan tomorrow morning.  My motto has always been to treat children the way my own children deserve to be treated.  Maybe I should expand that to include their mothers too.