Sunday, January 24, 2010

In Just One Second

Just one second.  That's all it takes for someone's life to be turned upside down.

In one second a newborn baby will take her first breath, or not.  In one second a woman can glance up and catch a future lover's eye, or not. In one second a spark can ignite, or not. In one second a race can be won, a final point can be scored, a telephone can be answered, or a contract can be signed.  Or not.

And in just one second a young woman's uncontrollably spinning car can be stopped, or not.

What perfect alignment of planets caused those two drivers to come together at the exact same second?  What exact curvature of the spacetime continuum slowed the speed of her car just enough for the barrier to hold?

And oh, what would this world be like today if it hadn't?  What kind of giant hole would have been ripped through the center of my universe? Whenever I consider the possibility...well, I can't even breathe.  My heart stops.

I'm so thankful I don't have to know.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

A Little Bit of Honey

It's happening before my very eyes.  My baby is not a baby anymore.  I know this is true, although it's very hard to accept. She's not quite two yet, but already she is this unique little person.  So here's a quick update on our little Honey.

Caitlyn is very good at entertaining herself.  She loves to play with her babies in the dollhouse.  She makes them sit on their potty a lot, or eat snacks in their highchair.  Then she'll have them go for a ride in the minivan with Mommy or Daddy, and she sings Twinkle Twinkle to keep them content in their carseats.  She reads a lot of books too, and loves coloring with crayons.  When she's ready for some downtime, she'll go snuggle with her blankets and stuffed animals.  She loves Elmo and Big Bird, and watching Barney and Blue's Clues.  

She is really starting to enjoy playing together with her sister.  They make up their own games, which usually involve running back and forth down the hall.  They like to put on dress-ups and dance around to music.  Caitlyn will play endlessly in the bath tub, splashing her sister or designing with soap crayons. She also has this fascination with jumping up and down in her crib like a monkey, shrieking, "I jumping!  I jumping!" the whole time.

She's not the perfect little angel, although she IS a very good, sweet girl most of the time.  Still...she has her moments.  She has fits of temper and will hit when she doesn't get her way.  When she does, my overwhelming babylove makes it very hard to stay mad at her.  I'm firm when I need to be.  I AM.  But even while I'm frowning at her and enforcing her 5th time-out for the day, on the inside I'm marveling at her genius tactics and admiring her willfulness.

Catie has a stubborn streak.  She will not...will NOT...be left out or left behind.  She insists on fair and equal treatment.  She will do what it takes to make herself understood, and get her way.  Her favorite phrase right now is, "My turn, my turn, my TUUUUURRRRN!!"   Doesn't matter what it is...life is easier if Caitlyn gets her turn.

For all of that, she is such an easy, gentle little soul.  She wakes up happy, goes to bed happy, and eats anything you give her.   She is always ready and willing to try something new.  She is not reticent at all about trying new experiences.  You can take her anywhere, and she just looks around happily waiting for the next adventure.

She is sooooooo smart.  I know, I know, I'm a little biased.  But she IS.  She sings several songs, knows lots of letters and numbers, and can count to 5.  She "reads" her predictable books.  She does puzzles quickly, and stacks blocks and cups by size.  She has a knack for math/ science readiness activities.

She has also become quite a talker.  I think hearing Jaden's jibber-jabber, plus her own natural instinct for getting noticed have ignited the communication desire.  She recently developed a passion for naming the other half of a pair "the other one."  As in, "Peep-a-boo...my HAND...and my udda wun!"  Or "Yook, it's da baby...and da udda wun!"  She also likes to say, "How 'bout?" when she wants to ask for something.  She'll come over with her cup, hold it out to me, and say, " How 'boooooouuuut some milk?  Pease?"  When she sees pictures of herself she says, "Yook!  It's Honey!"

When it comes to other people,  Kharli is my outspoken, exuberant daughter, and Jaden is my chatty, flamboyant daughter.  Hesitant, shy Catie takes awhile to warm up to people, though.  Even family members who she sees frequently.   She's gotten over the crying and whining about it.  Now she will simply avert her eyes when you smile at her, as if not making eye-contact will save her from having to deal with you.  It takes some work to get Caitlyn to open up to you.  But if you stick with it, keep gently nudging her...she will come around. When you finally get Catie on your side, the reward is so worth it.

Do you think it's nuts for someone to be SO in love with their baby? Caitlyn lights up my entire world.  I can't imagine my life without her in it.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Not a Happy Post

I haven't been around here much lately.  It's kind of sad for me, because in the last year or so I've come to find  a great joy and comfort in blogging.

Lately though, I haven't had much to say.  I'm happy at home with my family and I'm trying to get by on that.  However, work stress just tends to overshadow everything.  I'm losing my smile.

I swore I wasn't going to use my personal space here to bitch and moan about things.   I just figured that if any of my family or friends stop by here and wonder what the hell's going on with me, I should at least offer some kind of explanation.  I DON'T want to gripe, though.  So I will just say this;

I'm not feeling that wonderful about being a teacher this year.  It's all I ever wanted to do, and I've worked my ass off to become a damn fine one.  But it's hard to keep your head up when you constantly feel like a loser.  It is all such a complicated, tangled mess of reasons, and I don't even feel like elaborating. 

I need to try to find other, non-school things to think about and write about.