Bud Light Presents: Real Men of Genius
(Real Men of Genius)
Today we salute you. Mr. Grocery Store Receipt Checker Guy
(Mr. Grocery Store Receipt Checker Guy)
Needing no apparent job skills whatsoever, you're living the real American dream,
Getting paid to embarrass those who really DO work for a living.
(What's THAT in your bag?!)
Sure there's greeting people as they walk through the door...
(Welcome to our store!)
But what you really live for are those seemingly random door alarms. You know, the ones that give you license to hold nice suburban moms hostage...while their toddlers run wild.
(Everybody look at HER!)
And even though she just spent $200 in your store, you dig through all her bags as if she were a teenaged shoplifter.
(Who doesn't need a free lipstick??)
So crack open an ice cold Bud Light, oh Master of the Theft Device. 'Cause we all know, if it weren't for you, 40-year-old mothers would run crazy in the aisles palming free goodies.
(Mr. Grocery Store Receipt Checker Guy!)
Brought to you by Bud Light Beer. Anheuser Busch. St. Louis, Missouri. Umm...ok, not really :)
lol cute
ReplyDeleteJust do what I do when they ask to see your receipt: Say "No, thank you" and keep walking. Receipt and bag checks are simply consent searches; they can only inspect your personal property if you give them permission.
ReplyDeleteState law does allow store employees to detain suspected shoplifters, but only if they have "probable cause," a legal burden that pretty much requires proof of theft. If you didn't steal, no one will have the evidence to stop you. Door alarms don't cut it, they go off dozens of times a day because of improperly deactivated merchandise.
Unfortunately, folks are conditioned to freeze like scolded children when a bell sounds and a robotic voice tells them to return to the store. But you're under no legal obligation to play along. For more on the law, see http://crimedoctor.com/loss_prevention_3.htm