Closing My Eyes

I have always thought I was an easy going person. I don't get overly flustered with things as they are. I roll.

Now, those living in my household may disagree with this statement, probably calling to mind the many times they stood in my way when I got fed up with clutter and went on a non-stop cleaning spree.

But, usually...I roll.

I'm not big on judging others.  I'm friendly to everyone. I accept people for who they are and genuinely like them.  If someone acts a certain way not to my liking, I cut them some slack because surely there's a good reason. 

If you were to ask me, I'd say that most people are compassionate and kind.  Most people want the best for others the way that I do.  Most people care about the same things I do because, well...why shouldn't they?

Actually, that's what I'd have said last year.  This year, after nearly four decades on this planet, I am starting to wonder.  This year has opened my eyes.

It just seems that everywhere I turn I come face to face with yet another example of people who seem broken, empty of all that humanity I've always attributed to them.  People who don't really care.

Have I become someone who expects too much, only to be disappointed when others don't quite live up to her expectations?  Or has it always been this way, and I am just now learning what the world is like?

I read somewhere that Anais Nin once said we don't see things as they are, we see things as WE are.  I have always believed that most people are good, and true, and decent.  I'd like to think that I see those qualities in others because I possess them myself, and that's my perspective.

But what does it say about me that I've begun to doubt my fellow humans? I think I need to turn off the TV, and stay away from the internet.  I don't want to see the ugliness that is really there.  I need to close my eyes for a little while.