Goodbye

I blog a lot about the kids, chronicling my thoughts and memories and sharing them. This one's for me, though.

A friend died on Friday...Mary, a teacher I work with. We weren't super close, but I really liked her, she liked me, and we enjoyed each other's company when working together. Her passing was a shock to everyone, and she really never had a chance to say goodbye. So, in case there are blogs in heaven, Mary...here's what I wish I'd blogged last Thursday.

You're one of those honestly nice people. I know they say being nice doesn't get you anywhere, but I disagree. I'm a big fan of "nice" and you're at the top of my list. You are one of the friendliest people I know. My favorite thing about you is that you are always smiling. You are sensitive and kind, and yet you don't go around blowing fake sunshine up people's rear ends all day. You have a way of staying grounded in a positive way, and I dig that about you.

I don't think I ever told you how much I appreciated you advice and help during my second year, when you and Judy were part of my mentor circle. I hadn't made many teacher friends yet, and I was going through a lot of personal things. Your encouragement meant a lot to me, and I wish I'd thought to thank you before now.

It's been nice these past few months seeing the extra light your kids brought to your life. The fact that they're close to Caitlyn and Jaden's ages has made me feel we have a connection outside of work, and I'd been looking forward to swapping pics and potty- training stories, and us getting to know each other in a different way. You really would have been a GREAT mom, Mary. I'm sorrier than you know that you had so little time to enjoy motherhood.

I know you weren't ready to leave yet, and it's left an emptiness in the hearts of your friends and loved ones. Any trivial little platitudes I could think of would not ease anyone's grief. So I'll just say goodbye. I'm going to miss you, but I believe we'll meet again someday. Will you save me a place at your lunch table in heaven?


And that's all I have to say.