Car-Mocks

I am plagued with self-doubt. And a tiny smidgen of guilt.

It all started a few days ago when Jaden and I were going through the bank drive-thru. Whenever we go through drive-thru lines, Jaden likes to wave at the people and squeal, "Thank you! Have a nice day!"

So when I'd finished my transaction and the teller thanked me over the speakerphone, I turned around expectantly toward Jaden. Well, she didn't thank the teller. What she shouted was, "I want a car-mock!"

"A what?" I asked her. "A car mock?"

"Yes," she insisted, raising her eyebrows and nodding at me. "I want a car-mock, please."

Oh, no. It can't be that, I thought. Hesitantly I asked her, "Jaden...are you asking for a caramel macchiato?"

"Yay! A car-mock!" she responded.

Aw, crap. Okay. Now I must confess, my name is Dawn and I am addicted to...car-mocks.

Just a disclaimer here, but Jaden has never, ever tasted coffee, much less the caffeine, vanilla and caramel wowness that is the caramel macchiato! For all she knows, I could be having some fancy-shmancy overpriced water. Whatever...she wants one.

This alone would not be enough to guilt-trip me as a mommy. Buuuuut....we have to add this incident to the fact that the girls have begun to play "coffee" games with their play tea set. PLUS Jaden says "Mommy's coffee?" every time we go through ANY kind of drive-thru. AND whenever Caitlyn sees my favorite mug she yells "KAH-feeee!"

Yes, I guess I drink a lot of coffee. I'm not completely sure this is a bad thing, though. Hell, it's not like I'm slugging back 2 cups (more like 5) of absinthe a day! And you know...I eat LOTS of vegetables and whole grains, I drink V8 every day, and I really limit the take-out crap I eat. Everyone has a vice, right? Can't this be mine?

Sooo...if it's not that bad, then why do I cringe when my 1-year-old happily shouts "Kah-feee!" and my 2-year-old can recognize the Starbucks logo?

Maybe I have felt that I've needed to make a change here for awhile, and it's just taken being called out by my toddlers to shame me into it?

Whatever the reason, I'm going to attempt cutting back the caffeine. I did it for my girls while pregnant. We'll see if I can do it for myself. So if I am a total bitch to you in the next 5-7 days, please forgive me. Ha ha ha, I couldn't even write that with a straight face...of course I'm not going to be a bitch :) But if I'm crabby, please cut me some slack!

Did you know I've been sitting here sipping a cup of sugared espresso the whole time I've been writing this? Heaven help me!