High Stupidity Warning

What is the stupidest thing you've ever done? Today I had a literal brush with death. Well, maybe not quite death. At the very least it was a brush with stupidity.

I was about to blow dry my hair, and as I went to plug in the blowdryer, I got zapped! Big time. Was this a faulty outlet? Nope. A malfunctioning hair appliance? Huh-uh.

Dumbass that I am, I went and touched my WET hair, then used my WET fingers to plug the blowdryer into the electrical socket! Um, and I didn't do it gingerly or anything. I made sure I stuck my fingers IN the holes of outlet as I inserted the prongs...you know, to make sure I got it on the first try.

Have you ever electrocuted yourself before? When I was a kid I touched my grandmother's electrified cattle fence all the time. And on special occasions my boy cousins were known to convince me to hold a 9-volt battery to my tongue.

But I have never been shocked by an outlet until today. I actually heard it go zzzzzzzZZZZZZZZTTTTTT!!!! And I felt the current run up through my arm. I saw my life flash before my eyes. Well, truthfully, I only saw my death flash before my eyes.

As I stood there with my mouth open, staring at my hand in horror, I imagined the paramedics retrieving me off of the floor of my bathroom. I pictured them coming in with that stretcher thing, and had a second to be grateful I was wearing my robe. Because otherwise that would not have been a pretty picture, let me tell you!

Then, just as I was thinking about how nice it would be if someone were to create a slideshow of my life set to Coldplay and Beatles music for my funeral, my heart started to beat again. And of course, I started crying and went running out to Craig so he could hug me and tell me I was okay.

So, today's life lesson is simple. Don't touch outlets with wet hands. But if you have a dumbass moment and forget, it's not going to kill you, or really hurt you, or even drop you onto the floor. You will live to tell the tale. Probably. So....you will just have to find some other way to get cute paramedics into your home to see you naked.

Also, I really want a slideshow at my funeral someday.