Happy Thanksgiving

One thing that I really love about Thanksgiving Day is hearing people tell who and what they are thankful for.  That's my favorite part of this day.

I've already done that in this blog; here and here.  My life and my happiness are pretty much the same as they were then.  Plus, as far as sentiment goes, I doubt there's any way I can top my husband this year.

So blog friends, I'll just leave you with this thought.  Remember that happiness isn't about having everything you want.  It's about wanting what you already have.  Keep reminding yourselves and your loved ones about how special they are even after the turkey is gone, because true gratitude is an everyday feeling.

I'm not rushing out to buy cheaper electronics tomorrow, or standing in line for anything.   I'm going to snuggle with my little ones, have coffee and chat with my big ones, and smile knowingly across the room at my husband.

My life is good, just the way it is, and I feel blessed every day.  I hope you do too :)

Cannonball

Would it hurt, do you think, to step away from that straight and narrow line?  That path you've chalked from here to there, that direction really going nowhere?  Don't you ever want to curve away, from the predictable design?

It's a leap of faith, true.  But we have faith in so much we can't see.  We can't know what will or will not be.  And at the end of your self-prescribed path, what is left but to come back the same way?

Aren't you curious at all, to swan dive off the edge?  To close your eyes and take a chance, to land somewhere unplanned?

It doesn't matter that your line is rainbow hued and bright.  I can see the ruler's edge underneath, it's unforgiving linear groove.  I can see the places worn so thin that to step there would be a trap, with iron jaws and teeth that bite.

I'll help you if you allow.  I'm already there, but I'll come back.  Take my hand and close your eyes.

Cannonball off the side.

Their Heaven

A lonely woman.  Smiles as she lays in her bed dying.  A life alone, a love denied, and she tells herself gratefully that it was all worth it.  So she peacefully goes without burdening a soul, least of all her own.  She takes her last breath and the lights go down on her empty room. 

A family man.  Smiles as he lays in his bed dying.  A lifetime of love and memories follow him to his sleep, and he tells himself gratefully that it was all worth it.  His chest rises and falls once more, as the lights go down on the tear-streaked faces of his children. 

A lonely woman.  Opens her new eyes to a heaven of her own creation. Tears of regret fall like rain as she lifts her face to gaze into the nothing, alone forever, but for a single outstretched hand.

A family man.  Opens his new eyes to a heaven of his own creation.  His practiced smile shines through the clearing rain and his heart swells to appreciate the beauty all around.  Through the mist he notices a sad, lost woman who reminds him of one he once knew.  Kindly, he offers a hand.

A timid smile, a silent assent, two hands clasp again.  Yet who was saved and who was lost, in the heaven of their own creation?

30...Picture a Lost Friend

I lost a good friend four years ago tomorrow.   This is my dog Sasha.  I miss her every day, but I imagine that in Dog Heaven she is happy and well :)

She was the best dog in the history of dogs.  I hope she knew that.

29...Picture My Babies

This picture always makes me smile.  Jaden jealously decided she wanted to squeeze in for some Mommy lap, but once there she couldn't stop smiling at her new baby sister.  I love my sweet little girls!

28...Picture a Fear

What am I afraid of? 

Highway car accidents.  This fear doesn't hinder my driving, although Jacque calls me a "timid driver" so she might disagree.  But at least I'm not afraid of heights or spiders.  Somebody's gotta be the one to climb ladders and brush cobwebs off the ceilings.  I'll gladly take THAT job and let other people be Masters of the Road!

Do You Ever Feel...

a little hollow inside?  That you are temporarily used up?  That you need some rejuvenation of the non-caffeinated variety? 

Do you ever feel that you have to put on an artificial smile, lest they are all on to you?  Do you wear that smile so brightly that even you forget you put it there on purpose?

Do you ever feel that you are just being a counterfeit version of your best self?

I do, sometimes.

27...Picture a Son

My son Christian and I, who hates having his photo taken so much that I always have to resort to uploading special occasion pictures of him.  He drives me crazy sometimes but I love him :)

22...Picture a Loser

This is my favorite book...

Loser by Jerry Spinelli.  It's a children's book, of course.  But hey, I stopped apologizing for loving children's lit long ago. Loser is one of those books I sometimes read that stirs the writing beast in me.  Reading it makes me desperately love writing, and yet loathe it at the same time.  I wish I wrote this book.  But...somebody else did, and that sucks.

It's about an odd little boy who doesn't realize he's different, although everyone else does.  He's an outcast who doesn't know...yet.  His time is coming, though.

I love stories about underdogs.   They make the best characters.

22...Picture Serenity

I wish I were better at staying calm.  I have fire in my blood, I can't deny it.  I have to work really, really hard to bank my temper and quiet my mind.  I am not always successful. 

26...Picture a Blessing

Something that meant a lot to me was bringing home a healthy baby 4 years ago. 

Jaden, my little emergency baby born early by cesarean.   We didn't know it then, but Jaden and I were both fortunate to have come home that day.  

25...Picture My Day

It's Saturday morning.  Craig took Jaden to Little Gym, and I'm home with Caitlyn, keeping her busy as I finish my lesson planning for next week.  I have to crank this out quickly so I can go to my niece's 16th birthday barbeque this afternoon.   School is important, but family is more so.  This is my weekly Saturday juggling act :)

24...Picture School Lunch

Something I wish I could change is what our nation feeds kids for school lunch, and I love what Jamie Oliver is trying to do with reforming school lunch.   We have become a nation of pre-diabetics.  Our kids eat crap most of the time, and we've become so used to it, we don't even realize it anymore. 

What's worse is we are allowing the government to feed crap to our kids and we're not even paying attention.   Most parents have no idea what this food is; where it comes from, how it's prepared, what the nutritional balance is.  Some parents believe that their kids aren't eating the garbage simply because they don't participate in the "free lunch" program, although in reality all kids eat the same thing, free or not.

We need to educate ourselves about this issue, and then make a stand and demand better for ALL of our children.   Join the revolution!

21..Picture My Head in the Sand

This is supposed to be about something I wish I could forget.  Okay, here it is...

Something I wish I could forget about is No Child Left Behind.  The idea is noble, but sometimes the implementation of it really sucks.  And honestly, I will never understand how the government can just take away our budget, and parents can do whatever they want or don't want, and still I am held accountable for the fallout? I could get all eloquent and passionate here, but what for?  Nobody wants to read that, and since I'm trying to "forget about it" that's all I'm going to type. :)

20...Picture a Getaway

I would really love to travel to Ireland.  I have always dreamed of going there since I was a young girl.  It requires a loooonnnng plane ride, though, so I don't think I'll get Craig to go.  But maybe I'll go with a sister, friend or daughter someday.  Someday.

19...Picture a Love Letter

This is a love letter written by Kharli when she was 3. 

I think it reads,

            "Dear Mommy,

             You are the greatest Mommy in the whole wide world and I
             love you sooooo much! 

             Love,
             Kharli"

18...Picture Insecurity

My greatest insecurity is not the size of my tush or the size of my bank account.  Nor is it the age of my car, my furniture, or myself.  My insecurity is hard to put a picture on and say, look...there it is!

I am not very insecure.  I guess I have reasons to BE insecure...things which might make other people insecure.  But really, my only insecurity is the thought of blowing my chance of being the best person I can be.  So I always have to keep reminding myself to grow, improve, adapt, and be a better ME.  But I worry I might not be able to accomplish that in the next 40 years.

17...Picture the Bigger Picture

Something which has made a huge impact on my life lately is Arizona's education budget cuts.  Not just in my teaching life.  My position is pretty secure.  I don't care about ME.  I care about my children, and the millions of children whose educations are affected. 

I'm not even listing reasons why anymore because I've found that nobody really wants to hear about it.  Nobody wants to know about it.  Most people just don't want to know how things really are.

It's easier for them to pretend rather than to admit participation in what we're doing to ourselves here.  People are happier to continue driving their SUVs and buying their silly junk and overpriced clothing before they will spend it on the education of children here.

A lot of people are really stupid about where the money comes from and where it goes, and why it's crucial to not cut it.  I give up on trying to talk about it.

But I swear, the day is coming when this will all come back and bite us in the ass.  When our state is flooded with undereducated 20-something year olds...where will we all be then?

16...Picture Inspiration

It's hard to narrow down inspiration to just one person.  From Laura Ingalls-Wilder to Eleanor Roosevelt to Oprah, there are so many people I admire and by whom I am inspired.  However, I guess I'd say that I am inspired by Alice Paul the most.

I'm not an activist, nor am I especially outspoken.  And while I can be passionate in my own way about things I believe in, nothing I ever do in this lifetime will compare to what Alice helped do for me, and my daughters, and my daughters' daughters.  That kind of legacy is amazing to me.  It's her great desire to affect change no matter the cost which I find so inspirational.  I am in awe of people like Alice Paul.

15...Picture a Dream

Something I want to do before I die, WAY before so I can enjoy it a little, is to write a book.  It doesn't even qualify as a bucket list item because it's a bigger dream than that.  Here's to big dreams, and making them come true...

14...Picture a Sister

I cannot imagine my life without a handful of sisters to love.  Here they are in my second favorite photo of all time.  I think one of them stole my MOST favorite.  Too bad, because whoever she is may have preferred it to this one.   Paybacks are a bitch, biotches!  :)

 This is how I always think of them...as goofy teenagers.  Don't you love it?  And Jac, I photoshopped that I-was-at-a-party-last-night stamp off your hand.  You're welcome.

13...Picture Coldplay

My favorite band.  Not in a swoony, gushy, giggly way.  I just really, really love their music.  It makes me happy everytime I play it.